20 Weeks - And Team Glitter!:):)

20 weeks today! Hello Everyone I am so sorry I have been MIA between the Christmas Rush and work I have been so so busy. Well I had my 20 week ultrasound on Monday and yes its a little GIRL! I am beyond thrilled. I felt the same way I did on my wedding day. I am on cloud 9. Everything looks perfect except for a little shadow on the left chamber of her heart. The doctor say its most likley nothing but want to take a second look which is fine with me. All my other test came back perfect. Joe and I are thrilled! Let the shopping begin!

Introuducing my " Bambina"

Happy Thanksgiving!

I just want to wish all my bloggies out there a happy Thanksgiving. Thank you for being there every step of the way on my journey and I hope that my story helps many girls like me:):)

I am now 16 weeks pregnant. I still do not feel great but I def feel better than I have been feeling. I find out the sex of the baby on December 17th and Joe and I are so excited. I cant wait to start shopping. So far the only thing I have to take is an iron supplement. All my test and blood work have been normal. I am gaining weight pretty fast it makes me a little nervous but the doctor hasnt said anything so I am not worried.

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for this little Bambino inside of me... all the hard work is def worth it.. hang in there bloggies.. its a long ride but you can do it:)

Happy Thanksgiving!

14 Weeks

Well yesterday was my 14 week mark. I had an NT scan done last week and everything looked good so far  still waiting on the blood work but all the measurements looked fine. I feel ok. I am still dealing with my gagging all the time but it is getting better. I don't feel green all the time, just once in a while. So right now so far so good. I am of course still nervous and always will be, prolly until I deliver. I just wanted to keep you bloggies posted. Here is a pic from Halloween. It is of me and my nephew Max. He is dressed as Buzz Light  year ( we are huge Disney freaks) we call this shot.. waiting for Woody or Jessie:):)

12 weeks :):)

Bambino is now the size of a plum can you believe it! Joey and I are getting more and more excited each day that passes.  My friend, Amanda, let us borrow one of those at home dopplers... we sit in bed at night listening to the baby move around, we found his/or her heart beat a few times.. its hard at this stage but gets easier as the baby gets bigger. I have my First Trimester Scan next week on the 29th. I am also on vacation from work so that will be so nice. A whole week off. I love it!. I have still been suffering from nausea. It comes in waives. One minute your fine and the next you are running to the nearest  bathroom. The other day someone was smoking near me and I puked. It was awful. But I have to say I only got sick 3 or 4 times out of 12 weeks so thats not to bad. Everyday I feel like I am getting better but I guess ya never know when your pregnant. No other symptoms. My boobs are hugs. My stomach is def starting to show. I bought my first pair of maternity pants on Saturday. They arnt all that bad. i will post a few belly shots soon. I hope everyone is doing and well with their Infertility meds.. and staying strong.. it will happen...

10 Weeks

Today I am ten (10) weeks and I am getting so excited! I cried at the ultrasound like a big baby because I saw my baby moving and waiving and kicking. It was amazing. I graduated from my RE and now I am off to my real OB. I am so thankful and happy. I cant belive I am here. I never thought i would be this far, I never thought I would be carrying a baby.. Joey and I couldnt be happier:)

8 weeks

Well today was our 8 week ultrasound and we saw our little Bambino. I love him/her already. I cant stop smiling. To see the little heart beat was so awesome. 158 beats per minute. The doctor says everything looks perfect! I am so excited!!!

The Great Bambino:)

That's what we have been calling my little one already. I know its still early but I cant help but give my little one a nick name. Joe and I call him or her our little Bambino. Being that we are Red Sox fans ( well not really at the moment they stink) its ironic we would pick a Yankee Player. Although I am pretty sure he played for the Sox at one point.Anyway, we are in love with our little Bambino. I just need time to fly. I feel like it is going by so slow! Tick.. Tock.. Tick.. Tock... I want to be out of my first trimester already. I will feel a lot more comfortable. I have some pretty serious morning sickness going on, some dizziness, my boobs hurt, all the normal first trimester symptoms.But I'm not complaining...

I saw the Heartbeat!

Wow, at 6 weeks I saw about as much as you could possibly see. I loved seeing the little flicker of a heartbeat. Reminded me of a little fairy! My husband and I are so excited but it is still so early so we are praying every night for the next couple weeks. We have another ultrasound scheduled for September 26th so until then.....

My Re took me off Estrace but he wants me to continue the Crinone and baby aspirin. He also found some  cyst on my ovaries but said they will go away on their own.

It is starting to really sink in now:)......getting Excited:):):)

So far So Good:):)

Ok, so today I am six (6) weeks and 4 days. My little sweat pea is doing good in there. I have had no spotting. I am experiencing some nausea but it comes and goes. I have not actually gotten physically sick yet. My breast are extremely soar and itchy. I wake up out of a sound sleep to pee and they kill. Besides that I feel great. Oh and I'm evil:) My hormones are so bad. My poor husband. I jump down his throat for every little thing its awful I hear myself and cant not believe its me! It is like Clomid Rage x 10000! But I am so happy every day is going by and tomorrow is my very 1st Ultrasound. I am hoping to see and maybe even hear if its not to early a little heart beat. I am so exciting. I will check in with you guys sometime tomorrow. Say a prayer or send some good heart beat vibes this way bloggies:)

Beta #3

2,661! I am so excited. My first Ultrasound is Wednesday at 7:30am. I am so excited. I am to continue the Crinone and Estrace until then. I am finally starting to allow myself to get a little excited. Thank you for all my doubling vibes bloggies:):)

Beta #2

I am so sorry bloggies! I am such a bad blogger lately. I received my beta on Friday evening and it was 461! So I am defenitly pregnant. It is so hard for me to even say those words, " I'm pregnant" and I have to tell you I am not as excited as I thought. I think I am more scared. I just want everything to go smoothly from now on. It took me over two years to get here and I am finally where I want to be.

This morning I had another blood test. If today's blood work comes out good we will schedule out first ultrasound I believe for next week. The time is going by so slow but I am trying to be as patient as possible.

I feel good for the most part, my boobs are incredibly sore. I feel a little dizzy and lightheaded when I stand up quickly. I feel nausea in the morning but not enough to be sick. I am trying to eat healthy but I am craving things like ginger ale and Ramen noodles. I try to eat a salad a day and a piece of fruit a day. I am a carb freak so  this is new to me.

I will update you guys on todays beta #3.

Beta #1

Beta #1 came in Wednesday night at 236! and my progesterone level is 130! When the RE called he said. I got your results and you are very pregnant! He has no concerns as of right now. I went for Beta #2 this morning. I am so excited but still very nervous at the same time.I have such mixed emotions right now. I am so happy right now that I am terrified. Please send doubling beta vibes my way. Hoping for good news this afternoon.

My RE wants me to continue my progesterone gel, estrace pills and baby aspirin. Cross your fingers bloggies!! I cant believe it! Still in shock.

So this is what it feels like....

To get a Positive Pregnancy Test! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So last night, my husband was so upset from me basically telling him IVF #! failed. As you know I had horrible cramps the last two days. I felt like any minute Aunt Flo was going to come but she never showed.  So as we were cooking dinner my husband leaves. Yes, just leaves the house. He was running to the closest Walmart to get a Pregnancy Test. He came home after his home made stew was now cold and was like "Pee on this." I replied, "Honey, you have to wait till morning." He didn't care, he kept on hounding me and hounding me until finally i caved and tested. I peed in a cup and he took it in the other room. I knew it was going to be negative but I heard this weird sound come from the bedroom. It was the mixture of a sigh, laugh and cry all at once. I asked him, "What... What does it say?" and he started crying and said it worked. You are pregnant. I was in shock that a pee stick with my pee on it could be positive. I have prolly seen a million pee sticks with negative results this was new to me. I didn't really know how to take it. Plus its early. But I did another one this morning and it still reads the word... "Pregnant"..Wow so this is what it feels like........ I will confirm my positive test with my beta results tomorrow. Trying not to get to excited........but I am a little:)

Cramps!

I am seven days past a five day embryo transfer and I have some serious cramps going on. I am praying its a good thing. However, I am used to cramps resulting into to a BFN's. So cross your fingers bloggies! Beta is Wenesday.

Egg Transfer Done

Egg Transfer is complete! One perfect blastocyst is hopefully find a cozy spot to snuggle into my uterus as we speak! The Egg Transfer was really cool except for the full bladder, I thought I was going to burst! They had to do a stomach ultrasound and oush really hard on my bladder while the doctor was placing the cathiter in the correct spot. It was very uncomfortable. However, it was so cool. They had relaxing music playing, the lights were dim, it was a very relaxing setting. Everything looked perfect. I have to say the ET was not bad at all. Now we wait. Here is a look at our perfect little rockstar:)

Egg Rrtrieval Done!

Ok, what a whirl wind the last couple days were. Yesterday was egg retrieval and they got 11 eggs. I was kinda bummed, i thought i had around 20. They got 11 and fertilized them all with ICSI. I guess by the look of DH's sperm motility and the lack of eggs he did not want to take any chances and used ICSI on all of them. Out off 11 eggs. 10 were mature and 6 were fertilized. One was fertilized abnormally so they have 5 embryos they are culturing for a 5 day transfer on Monday. I would be lying if i said I wasn't nervous. It scared me that we only have 5 to work with.

The Egg Retrieval Experience was great. we got there an hour before. i changed into my gown, hair-net, and booties. They put my IV in it didn’t hurt at all. they did it my arm not my hand thank god. They even came in and gave me something for my nerves. At that point i felt wonderful. I has things stuck all over me, and IV in and was brought to a room where they do the procedure. I saw these huge black stirrup things. My legs were way up in the air but it was quick as soon as i put my legs up my doctor told me to think of a beautiful beach somewhere and that’s all I remember.

I remember waking up listening to the nurse tell my husband about all the meds i will be taking form this point on. Thank goodness no more needles! Apparently the doctor came in and explained to me we got 11 eggs and he was going to use ICSI and I guess I was asking a bunch of questions i already knew the answers too and i have no recollection of that at all. Whatever meds they gave me worked great :)

DH was perfect. He was by my side the entire time. He was so worried about me. I hate when hes worried about me when he has to perform...u know. We need his sample to be good. Don’t worry about me just put me out of your head and do what you need to do.

My mother in law came over after to help, she folded clothes and made me some soup. I was able to rest all day it wasn’t as bad as I thought. I feel a little campy and a little bloated but not bad. I had barley any spotting or bleeding. No pain really at all. A little uncomfortable but i am back to work today and I feel pretty good.

I have to say my experience with IVF up to this point has been ok. I am very tired. There are so many doctors appointments, blood work appointments, ultrasounds, its exhausting. But now the mental and emotional part is coming in. I am asking myself so many what ifs and im sure it will be like that for the entire 2 week wait.

But if you are thinking you aren’t strong enough to this... trust me, you are. My DH reminds me everyday how strong I am and how good I am doing.

you get do it bloggies;) you def can:)

Day 7 of Stims....

Ok, so today is Day 7 of stims and I feel pretty good. I am very bloated and I actually contracted a urinary track infection:( But I am on antibiotics and they will not effect the stim medication, thank god. I am tired and a little dizzy but nothing major. As i have said before, Clomid is much worse. The Menopur still burns very bad, its the only injection I hate to get.The other two are not bad at all compared to that one. It isnt the poke of the needle that hurts it is the medicine going in the body that hurts. So I have another ultrasound tomorrow. Hopefully everything will look good and we will trigger Sunday night! I am so done with these injections, I am used to them, but I still dont like them. Wishing all you bloggies a nice weekend! I will update you after my appointment tomorrow.

Sunday is my nephew Maxim's Birthday. Happy 4th Birthday Maxim!

On Day 4 Stims!!! Doctors Appointment tomorrow!

Hey Bloggies:)

I am on my fourth day of stims. I have to say I feel pretty good. I feel bloated but that's really it. My sides are soar and I feel like I have to pee every five minutes. But for the most part Im ok. Clomid was much worse. So for right now Im feeling ok. Im more worried about whats to come as it gets closer and closer.

Ok, so the Menopur and Gonal F arnt to bad... The Menopur sucks. I am going to be honest it burns so bad. But its quick and it goes away after a few minutes. It is totally tolerable. The Gonal F Pen is fine. It sucks that you have to push the plunger in so hard.

I am hardly bruised at all. i am getting excited and nervous. My doctors appointment is tomorrow and I am just praying my E2 level isn't sky high. I do not want to get canceled now.

I am doing ok. Dont worry about the shots, they are not that bad. I know its easier said then done. You will see if you end up ever using them. I did however stop excersizing, Im to scared and bloated to Zumba anymore but thats ok...:) Its a nice break;)

It's Something New Everyday...

Today I am spotting. I feel as though AF is about to come. This is so strange because I just had a period and now I feel like I am getting another one. RE says it is very common when your estrogen level is dropping to have some minor cramping and spotting. Joy... I feel like I have had my period for a month! My poor hubby.

Just annoyed today....

Good News So Far ...

So far we are looking good! My e2 level was 187 last Thursday, yesterday ( Monday) it was 80. They want to see my e2 level at 50. So it looks as though the cyst is shrinking. However, I am going for an ultrasound on Saturday to check and make sure everything is clear to start stims! I am excited and nervous and just want this all to go as smoothly as possible. I am so tired from the Lupron and feeling a little overwhelmed but I can handle it. At this point I feel like I can handle anything..

So right now I am very happy we are not canceling anything yet... I leave you with a happy pic of me and my niece Mariah cruising in the back of my mother in laws convertible.Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Tick..Tock..Tick...Tock

Ugh waiting for my blood test results in killing me.Tick... Tock.. Tick... Tock... time is going by so slow:( I went at 9am this morning, its 3:30pm and still no call from my RE. I really hope I dont have to cancel this cycle. I will be so devastated, but I know I want to go in with things looking perfect and a 17mm cyst is not perfect. So now I sit and wait... I can not get any work done. This stinks:(

I was right....It is a cyst...

Yep. A 17 mm cyst. Just great. Now I have to wait to start stims and have another blood test on Monday and pray my estrogen level goes down. On Thursday it was 187. So please say a little prayer for me and send me some shrinking vibes because unless this cyst starts to shrink this cycle may be canceled! I am devastated and am basically in limbo till Monday afternoon... I will let you know how it goes. Nothing is ever easy for me. This may just be a small hiccup in m journey through IF.

Freaking Out!

So my doctor called and says my estrogen levels are too high to start stims! Ugh why me. He said it may just be a cyst, or I may need to stay on Lupron a few more days...He is not sure..going in tomorrow for ultra sound..I will keep you guys posted...wish me luck! Ugh so annoyed!

Last Blood-Work Before Starting Stims:)

Today I go for my last Blood Work before starting Stims. Tomorrow I have to go for an ultrasound as well. I am nervous to start stims but so far the Lupron injections are not as bad as I imagined so I am hoping the Menopur and Gonal F arnt bad either. I heard Menopur burns so I am a little nervous about that one. My RE says he will prescribe me a cream that will help numb the area if I need it. So, off to get blood-work...Enjoy the day...

My New Obession...

Ok, so have you guys heard of Zulilly.com ? I just joined and so far have bought tons of stuff from this site. They have personalized kids stuff and even some cool stuff for us too! My niece and nephew are super, super, spolied by their " unkie Jackie" thats what they call me have no idea why but its cute so I will let them call me whatever they want. I am God Mother to both and it makes my heart happy to spoil them.

So check out this site its amazing!

http://www.zulily.com/invite/jlanno136

Here is a picture of my favorite 2 :) Mariah and Max. They are both 4. Max is my twin sister's son and Mariah is my brother in-laws daughter. Max was born a week before my wedding and Mariah was born a week after:)  ( Great Timing.. we were all stressed around wedding time:))

But I love them so much, I cant wait to be able to spoil my own someday but for now I love being their favorite auntie or shall i say unkie:)

Shots, Shots, Shots...

 " This is how I feel now... before I dreaded shots now I'm ready for them... trust me girls, the needles are not as bad as you think..."

So... Today is day 11 of Lupron shots and I am now a pro. I was literally making myself sick over something so small. I did however switch from stomach to butt:) It hurts way less in the butt area for some reason so we have been doing the injections there. Its hard to pinch though,  I have like no butt lol but it works for me. And I always have someone give me the shot I can not inject myself.. yet.. who knows I keep surprising myself...Thursday I have to go get some blood work done and Friday I have an ultrasound before starting stims. I will be starting Menopur and Gonal F starting along with Lupron next week. One shot is easy peasy! I hope 3 shots isnt too bad. I heard the Menopur stings so I am a little worried about that one but I am always worried and end up becoming a pro in the end, so if I can do it .. you can do it ladies. We are stronger than we think we are.
I am very emotional though, and I am not sure why. I dont know if it is from the Lupron or just from this entire experience. This cycle is kind of a big deal. But the best I can do is take it day by day. The only other side effect I feel from the Lupron is that I am always tired. That is it. So, compared to Clomid the side effects are nothing.
So this weekend, I have a few photo shoots  ( I am a photographer on the side, paralegal during the week) and a bridal shower. I can not wait to relax this weekend, I have a facial scheduled for next week. I think I am going to get a facial every week just to relax....If I can afford it...-Wishing all my followers a nice, relaxing, weekend!

In a time pinch???

A quick shot o f Lupron is so easy. My mother in law met me  before my Zumba class, Joey was working late... it was quick and painless and I felt fine at Zumba...and it literally took under 2 minutes total:)

Although last night I had the worst heartburn. I have no idea if it because of the medicine the zumba or the fact that I ate dinner at 9 30pm but either way I still have it today... boo!

First Night of Injections!!

Oh my goodness, I have been making myself sick over this day for months. I was so scared and I dont even know what I was so scared of. I wasn't scared of the pain, I think it was the needle itself but anyways, I had my DH do it quickly and it was all over. I was so relieved. I was so scared of nothing. However, that was one injection soon I will be doing 3 a night and I am sure it wont be so easy but it is not as bad as I pictured it.

I am a little sore today. I must have tensed up during the injection, for the most part I feel fine. I plan on going to zumba tonight:)

So for all of you who are scared.... dont be, its not as bad as your thinking:):)

IVF Meds being delivered today!

Hello All- I am so sorry I have been MIA but the last few weeks have been very busy. A lot has changed, we decided to end up going back to are old RE. We just had a gut feeling about him. We liked the RE that was closer and easier to get to but our gut told us to go with our initial RE. He sent us a letter indicating he started his own practice and we followed him.  I am so nervous and excited I feel sick everyday. So many emotions and feelings all at once.


My doctor decided to go with Lupron, Follistim/Gonal F-225 units and 75 units of Menopur. I will be starting Lupron 10 units a day on July 15th, I will continue to take the birth control and lupron, then once I return to the office for blood work and ultrasound I will decrease to 5 units of Lupron per day and start Gonal F and Menopur. It so overwhelming but I have to push myself to do this. I am ready.ER and ET are most likely going to be the week of August 6th...

So today or tomorrow we are going to the inject class. I start the Lupron injections on Sunday.So its all starting and I am freaking out! but we can do this! Here we go!

P.S. I will be blogging about each injection, helps and tips on side effects and any little thing I can remember to help girls going through the same thing...

My Cup of Tea Leaves~

 On Saturday I had my tea leaves read by a Tea Leave Reader. It was a really cool experience. One of the first thing she said was she sees Rabbits in my cup. That means she see's a pregnancy. She see's a pregnancy very soon., 99% sure I will have babies:) She told me not to be scared, she said my fears for IVF are for nothing, she said nothing bad was going to happen. In fact, she sees me with Three (3) babies. Now my DH is not convinced but at this point my little heart is desperate and anything anyone says to me helps. She aslo knew about many other things no one else would know. I am a believer...:) Just thought I would share..

Switching RE's

This week Joey and I decided to switch RE's I loved my old RE but he left the Practice we were originally signed up with and I was driving 45 minutes out of the way just to see him. So we decided to meet with an RE yesterday and we had a really good feeling once we left there. He would for the most part do exactly what my old RE was going to know, except he would tweak the medicine a little bit...but we are comfortable and confident with this new RE. At this point, I dont know if any of the decisions I am making are the right ones, I have to just take a chance. But we are excited to start a new journey with this RE. So, I would start the BCP next cycle, so stims would start in July and ER and ET would be in August. So this month, I'm going to TRY relax!

Another bump in the road...

So I received an email yesterday from my RE's office letting me know, my RE, that I love so much, is gone form the practice. WHAT! What do you mean gone? Where did he go? and Why is he leaving? Great, I was suppose to start BCP on Day 3 and I'm on Day 1 and now I have no idea what I'm going to do! My current RE is in Trumbull, CT. That is about a 45 minute drive every time I go. This may be what pushes me to a closer RE. I have RE's that are 5 minutes away. The lesser drive may help my stress level go down but am I making the right decision by switching. Ugh.. IF is never easy... I will let you know what I choose soon. As of right now we are making an appointment with a new, closer, doctor. Just to see our options. I do not want to wait another 3 months to start the IVF process, I am ready now.

Oh and by the way, its my 29th Birthday, my husband, Joeys too!

Enjoy the day!

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

 DH and I have to make several decisions in the next couple weeks but one of our biggest decisions yet will be whether or not to transfer one (1) or two (2) embryos on the day of egg transfer. I go back and forth everyday wondering what the right decision is. I am a twin and would love having twins, but is there more complications with twins, will the chances of miscarriage be greater. Is the chance of a single embryo attaching alone better than two. Ugh, this is really going to drive DH and I crazy. But I have decided to take a deep breath, relax and just take this day by day. Who knows, maybe my egg quality wont be as good as they think and they will definitely want to put two. I guess my best bet is to wait and see how it goes up until retrieval. . I will definitely listen to the doctors opinion and make my decision then. Until then, my brain will still be going back and forth I just cant shut it off!

All set to start BCP at then end of the month!

So, we had my office hysterscopy, cervical mapping, and blood work done. Blood work was easy no issues there. I was scared I was going to be light headed but I was not at all. They cervical mapping and hysterscopy were pretty uncomfortable. I had really bad cramps during. I had taken Tylenol a few hours before but I def still felt the cramps, but it was quick like 4 minutes and as soon as the procedure was over I didn't feel a thing. I went right back to work. That was the last of my preliminary testing before the big IVF Process begins. Everything looked perfect. My uterus is slightly tilted but that's about it! So I will be starting the BCP and baby aspirin at the end of the month. Right around my 29th Birthday. Happy Birthday to me lol:)

I am very excited but scared at the same time.

Overwhelmed...

Wow, that IVF Class/Consult was intense. It was so in depth. They assigned me a one on one nurse that will be with me throughout this entire process. Her name is Jill and she is wonderful. My husband and I sat there and asked numerous questions all which were answered with no problem. They feel because I am so young, and my eggs should be in great shape, that this will be it for us. They went over embryo freezing, the cost of IVF, what insurance covers, what it does not, all the medications I will be on, when I can start taking them, all the testing they will do on us prior, there is so much I cant even write it all. Just know that when you go for your IVF consult, it is a lot of information to take in. I know I did not remember everything but that's what I have Jill for.Hopefully, your RE will assign you a wonderful nurse that will make this process run smoothly. So as of right now my husband and I have decisions to make. If we are going to go ahead and start the process. I will be starting the birth control pill at the end of May. IVF will most likely be the week of the Fourth of July. I have a lot of thinking to do. Enjoy your weekend everybody!

IVF Consultation/Class...

Today at 3pm we will be going to our RE's office for our IVF Consultation and Class. This makes it all very real.  You would think  all I would be thinking about is, Is the IVF going to work?... and I am, but I am worrying way more about the injections. I am worried about dumb needles. I hate that I am scared. It's not going to stop me from pursuing IVF so I just have to get over it. Yesterday I googled this website that actually had pictures of the injections on them. As I began reading the article, I started to sweat, and almost felt faint. I was reading about this one injection that you have to get in the muscle. It looks awful, but so many girls that have gone through it say that its nothing and that the anticipation and fear of doing the injections is so much worse than the actual injection. Girls say its painless and they are pros at it. Many woman feel stronger and more confident that they accomplished something they were so scared of. So I am going to be strong, I am going to take this one day at a time, and I am going to get through the injections. But today we go over everything, What IVF is, our insurance, any questions we may have...Its going to be overwhelming I'm sure, just like everything else.But we have made it this far, at this point I feel there is nothing my husband and I cant do.. I will report back tomorrow to let you know how the consult went.

My next step...

My next step in this infertility tale is to start the preparations for IVF ( In Vitro Fertilization). Words can't describe how this feels. First of all, I never thought I would be here, , ready to start injections for an IVF cycle. This is crazy! I have seen and read about on TV and heard about a few celebrities out there that have done it but not me. Boy was I wrong. Still in shock but ready to face this challenge head on I am ready to start the IVF process. My husband is also ready. He still drives me a little crazy asking me things like. "Are you sure we are at the best place for IVF?" and " Why did the IUI's not work what is not happening" he wants an answer to unexplained infertility and its so hard to try to explain to him, as of right now, there is no answer, that's why its called "unexplained infertility". He does mean well but this process is so stressful and scary I need him to just ask the doctor any questions he has maybe hearing it from a doctor will help.So to prepare for IVF we need to have some blood work done, cervical mapping, an IVF class and an IVF injection class. We are scheduled for the IVF class and blood work Thursday. I'm sure the IVF class will make this that more real. I have a lot of support from friends and family but non of them have ever been through anything like this. I have to be strong, and take things one day at a time. The needles really scare me. I know they are small and after the first few my husband will be a pro but it still scares me to death. Once I overcome that fear I think I will feel more comfortable with the entire process. But again, one day at a time. I will fill you in on Thursday after our class and bloodwork. I really hope my blog helps young woman dealing with infertility. I will be honest throughout my journey and hope that I can help or relate to young woman dealing with infertility all over the world.

My Story...

My name is Jackie. I am 29 years old. I am happily married to my husband, Joe. He was my high school sweetheart. We have been married for over 4 years now and have been together for a total of 14 years. Throughout our relationship we always tried to do everything in the right order. We dated for 10 years. We then got engaged. We established good jobs. We bought a condo. We had our beautiful, fairytale wedding. Everything was perfect... maybe to perfect. In 2010 we started our next journey. We decided to start a family. It is not as easy as you think. Since 2010 my husband and I have been dealing with infertility. It has been an emotional roller coaster ever since. We started with timed intercourse. I would track when I was ovulating and we would time everything out perfectly. That went on for about a year and a half with no results. I then found and RE that decided to test my husband and I for anything that could be causing us not to get pregnant.  I had several test done, HSG, SHG, hysteroscopy, blood test, and a sperm analysis for my husband. We then were diagnosed with unexplained infertility. Our test’s were all perfect. There was nothing wrong with either of us.  So we then decided to use Clomid and timed intercourse that was another negative result. We decided that IUI (Inter Uterine Insemination) may be the answer so we started a natural cycle IUI. That did not work. We tried 2 more IUI’s with Clomid first 50mg, then 100mg. I responded very well to the medicine, I had multiple mature follicles each time. They both failed. Our next journey is IVF… we are planning on starting our first cycle in June. I am scared and excited at the same time. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing but we are ready for the next step….

You never think as a little girl that someday your fairytale may not end up how you thought. I know there is a chance I may not have the children I dream for. I am ok with that. I may just have to rewrite my fairytale…