Another bump in the road...

So I received an email yesterday from my RE's office letting me know, my RE, that I love so much, is gone form the practice. WHAT! What do you mean gone? Where did he go? and Why is he leaving? Great, I was suppose to start BCP on Day 3 and I'm on Day 1 and now I have no idea what I'm going to do! My current RE is in Trumbull, CT. That is about a 45 minute drive every time I go. This may be what pushes me to a closer RE. I have RE's that are 5 minutes away. The lesser drive may help my stress level go down but am I making the right decision by switching. Ugh.. IF is never easy... I will let you know what I choose soon. As of right now we are making an appointment with a new, closer, doctor. Just to see our options. I do not want to wait another 3 months to start the IVF process, I am ready now.

Oh and by the way, its my 29th Birthday, my husband, Joeys too!

Enjoy the day!

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

 DH and I have to make several decisions in the next couple weeks but one of our biggest decisions yet will be whether or not to transfer one (1) or two (2) embryos on the day of egg transfer. I go back and forth everyday wondering what the right decision is. I am a twin and would love having twins, but is there more complications with twins, will the chances of miscarriage be greater. Is the chance of a single embryo attaching alone better than two. Ugh, this is really going to drive DH and I crazy. But I have decided to take a deep breath, relax and just take this day by day. Who knows, maybe my egg quality wont be as good as they think and they will definitely want to put two. I guess my best bet is to wait and see how it goes up until retrieval. . I will definitely listen to the doctors opinion and make my decision then. Until then, my brain will still be going back and forth I just cant shut it off!

All set to start BCP at then end of the month!

So, we had my office hysterscopy, cervical mapping, and blood work done. Blood work was easy no issues there. I was scared I was going to be light headed but I was not at all. They cervical mapping and hysterscopy were pretty uncomfortable. I had really bad cramps during. I had taken Tylenol a few hours before but I def still felt the cramps, but it was quick like 4 minutes and as soon as the procedure was over I didn't feel a thing. I went right back to work. That was the last of my preliminary testing before the big IVF Process begins. Everything looked perfect. My uterus is slightly tilted but that's about it! So I will be starting the BCP and baby aspirin at the end of the month. Right around my 29th Birthday. Happy Birthday to me lol:)

I am very excited but scared at the same time.

Overwhelmed...

Wow, that IVF Class/Consult was intense. It was so in depth. They assigned me a one on one nurse that will be with me throughout this entire process. Her name is Jill and she is wonderful. My husband and I sat there and asked numerous questions all which were answered with no problem. They feel because I am so young, and my eggs should be in great shape, that this will be it for us. They went over embryo freezing, the cost of IVF, what insurance covers, what it does not, all the medications I will be on, when I can start taking them, all the testing they will do on us prior, there is so much I cant even write it all. Just know that when you go for your IVF consult, it is a lot of information to take in. I know I did not remember everything but that's what I have Jill for.Hopefully, your RE will assign you a wonderful nurse that will make this process run smoothly. So as of right now my husband and I have decisions to make. If we are going to go ahead and start the process. I will be starting the birth control pill at the end of May. IVF will most likely be the week of the Fourth of July. I have a lot of thinking to do. Enjoy your weekend everybody!

IVF Consultation/Class...

Today at 3pm we will be going to our RE's office for our IVF Consultation and Class. This makes it all very real.  You would think  all I would be thinking about is, Is the IVF going to work?... and I am, but I am worrying way more about the injections. I am worried about dumb needles. I hate that I am scared. It's not going to stop me from pursuing IVF so I just have to get over it. Yesterday I googled this website that actually had pictures of the injections on them. As I began reading the article, I started to sweat, and almost felt faint. I was reading about this one injection that you have to get in the muscle. It looks awful, but so many girls that have gone through it say that its nothing and that the anticipation and fear of doing the injections is so much worse than the actual injection. Girls say its painless and they are pros at it. Many woman feel stronger and more confident that they accomplished something they were so scared of. So I am going to be strong, I am going to take this one day at a time, and I am going to get through the injections. But today we go over everything, What IVF is, our insurance, any questions we may have...Its going to be overwhelming I'm sure, just like everything else.But we have made it this far, at this point I feel there is nothing my husband and I cant do.. I will report back tomorrow to let you know how the consult went.

My next step...

My next step in this infertility tale is to start the preparations for IVF ( In Vitro Fertilization). Words can't describe how this feels. First of all, I never thought I would be here, , ready to start injections for an IVF cycle. This is crazy! I have seen and read about on TV and heard about a few celebrities out there that have done it but not me. Boy was I wrong. Still in shock but ready to face this challenge head on I am ready to start the IVF process. My husband is also ready. He still drives me a little crazy asking me things like. "Are you sure we are at the best place for IVF?" and " Why did the IUI's not work what is not happening" he wants an answer to unexplained infertility and its so hard to try to explain to him, as of right now, there is no answer, that's why its called "unexplained infertility". He does mean well but this process is so stressful and scary I need him to just ask the doctor any questions he has maybe hearing it from a doctor will help.So to prepare for IVF we need to have some blood work done, cervical mapping, an IVF class and an IVF injection class. We are scheduled for the IVF class and blood work Thursday. I'm sure the IVF class will make this that more real. I have a lot of support from friends and family but non of them have ever been through anything like this. I have to be strong, and take things one day at a time. The needles really scare me. I know they are small and after the first few my husband will be a pro but it still scares me to death. Once I overcome that fear I think I will feel more comfortable with the entire process. But again, one day at a time. I will fill you in on Thursday after our class and bloodwork. I really hope my blog helps young woman dealing with infertility. I will be honest throughout my journey and hope that I can help or relate to young woman dealing with infertility all over the world.

My Story...

My name is Jackie. I am 29 years old. I am happily married to my husband, Joe. He was my high school sweetheart. We have been married for over 4 years now and have been together for a total of 14 years. Throughout our relationship we always tried to do everything in the right order. We dated for 10 years. We then got engaged. We established good jobs. We bought a condo. We had our beautiful, fairytale wedding. Everything was perfect... maybe to perfect. In 2010 we started our next journey. We decided to start a family. It is not as easy as you think. Since 2010 my husband and I have been dealing with infertility. It has been an emotional roller coaster ever since. We started with timed intercourse. I would track when I was ovulating and we would time everything out perfectly. That went on for about a year and a half with no results. I then found and RE that decided to test my husband and I for anything that could be causing us not to get pregnant.  I had several test done, HSG, SHG, hysteroscopy, blood test, and a sperm analysis for my husband. We then were diagnosed with unexplained infertility. Our test’s were all perfect. There was nothing wrong with either of us.  So we then decided to use Clomid and timed intercourse that was another negative result. We decided that IUI (Inter Uterine Insemination) may be the answer so we started a natural cycle IUI. That did not work. We tried 2 more IUI’s with Clomid first 50mg, then 100mg. I responded very well to the medicine, I had multiple mature follicles each time. They both failed. Our next journey is IVF… we are planning on starting our first cycle in June. I am scared and excited at the same time. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing but we are ready for the next step….

You never think as a little girl that someday your fairytale may not end up how you thought. I know there is a chance I may not have the children I dream for. I am ok with that. I may just have to rewrite my fairytale…