Happily Never After

On August 12th 2013 my husband died. I was out all day with baby Scarlett and found him on the floor, he was gone. He was cooking in the kitchen. We do not know the cause of death yet but we believe heart attack. Joe had high blood pressure and heart issues in his family. I can not explain the pain i'm in and how my heart is aching. We were so happy! Finally had our daughter and the life we wanted and it was taken away like that. My happily ever after has been torn apart... I don't know if I will ever be fully happy again...

I hope my blog helped people going through infertility, now I need a blog to help me during this sad time...

But listen to me, if your infertility struggles never get resolved, love your spouse, enjoy your time, not all is lost for you have a soul mate with you... I wish I still had mine..

Post Pardum Cardiomypathy

Hello All,
I am so sorry I have not updated you all on everything but life has thrown us a curve ball. I ended up with post partum cardiomyopathy.... let me explain...

On May 11th I went into labor, I was getting contractions life I was suppose to, I got the epidural and was stuck at 6cm. They decided to give me Pitocin to speed things along. Well, my epidural wore off as the Pitocin kicked in. It was awful, I was convulsing in so much pain...finally the decided to do an emergency c section. As they started prepping me for surgery they proceeded to give me another epidural, that didn't work either! They ended putting me completely under anesthia.. My daughter Scarlett Taylor was born on Mother Day.

They released me from the hospital and within a day I stared getting more swollen and feeling shortness of breath so I called the doctor they said that could be normal with a C-section so I tried to go to bed. I could not lie flat. I could not sleep all night. I called my doctor back he said to go to the ER. When I got there my heart was only pumping at 20%, I was having congestive heart failure, my heart and lungs were filled with fluid. If I did not go to the hospital I would have died! Please don't ever ignore these symptoms, it was scary. I was in ICU for a week and away from my newborn, I even had to stop breast feeding:( But I am alive. I am on a ton of heart meds and have to wear a life vest but I am here. My daughter Scarlett is beautiful and happy and we made it. It just was a crazy ride getting here.. I don't regret anything. I have everything I wanted.. I just need my health to get back to wear it was and then I will be living happily ever after:):)

 

Showerd with Love... and Sparkles...:)

What a beautiful shower I had. It was one of the prettiest Baby Showers I have ever been too! My little one is so blessed to be loved by so many. My sister Krissy and Best Friend Amanda were such big helps. My mother was amazing as always. My mother in law even made these really pretty floral centrerpieces. It was a great day. Here are some of the details...

35 Weeks-Baby Shower this Weekend!

I actually took time to read my entire blog from the beginning and I can't help but feel so blessed to be where I am today. Yes I am still very swollen, I am peeing like crazy, and I get barely any sleep but I know it will all be worth it in the end. She is moving like crazy in my belly. She is so strong. I cant believe how strong she is. I love her so much already. We are starting to accumulate lots of baby stuff and its getting me more and more excited for what’s coming.

This Sunday is my Baby Shower. It is at LaLuna in Branford. It is a brunch. For favors we are having a candy buffet. The theme/ style of the shower is pink and white with a candy and sweets:) Krissy is getting some pretty white and pink cupcakes, we are having the candy, Joe and I are making pink chocolate covered strawberries. Amanda is in charge of the games and pictures. I am looking forward to it. I am just worried about shoes because right now I can fit anything cute on these tootsies:)

I will post some pictures of the shower as soon as I can.

I have a doctor’s appointment today. Hopefully they can help me with this swelling problem so I can wear something cute Sunday:)

This is not the best pic but here is my most recent picture on Easter. Hope you all had a good one. Here is me at 35 weeks...

32 Weeks and Swollen!!!!

Ok so I hit 32 weeks and so far everything is going good except for two (2) things. The first thing is my back, I pulled it out a couple weeks ago and it has never been the same. The second thing is very bad swelling in my feet. By the end of the work day it feels as though my feet are just going to burst. My blood pressure is fine so my doctor is not concerned. Besides from being uncomfortable and an inconvenience i guess it’s not that bad and very normal for some people.

I can’t sleep at all. All she does is kick, kick, kick! I just want a good night sleep but between the peeing every 20 minutes, the kicking, my back hurting, it’s just not going to happen but I am so sure she is going to be worth all of it.

Here is a pic of my poor feet!

My husband calls me Proffesor Klump! So funny... I know

29 Weeks

I apologize for not updating more often. I have been so busy with work and getting my house in order by the time I sit down at night I am so exhausted that I cant even type. Everything is going pretty good. My feet swell everyday by 5pm but my blood pressure is fine so the doctors are not worried. I passed my Glucose test but unfortunately I have gained ten pounds in one month! So they basically put me on a Paleo/Mediteranian diet and I am so upset about it. I don't even eat that much! I love carbs! I hate depriving myself of things I love but I do not want to gain another ten pounds next month so we will see.I am going to try this diet for two weeks and see how it goes. I have suffered a little RLS ( Restless Leg Syndrome) but it has been not terrible. I still go to Prenatal Yoga once a week. I have a little acid re flux nothing major. For the most part everything looks great.

Joe and I took Maternity Pictures last week. It was freezing. I think it was like 20 degrees. I had my make up done it was the first time I felt pretty in months. They put these individual fake lashes on me, I loved them!
I did not do any naked or bare stomach ones ( it isnt my cup of tea), I think these show our happiness and the beauty of pregnancy just fine.

So this week, I will try as hard as I could to lay off all the carbs, and snacks I love ( ice cream, candy, milkshakes, ice tea, cookies, bagels, pasta, etc.) and concentrate on eating healthy.

Level 2 Ultra Sound looked Great!

Ok so Friday we had our Level 2 Ultra Sound done at Yale New Haven Hospital. It was such a cool experience. We were able to see such cool images of our baby girl. We were able to see the valves in heart and all her organs and confirmed everything looks perfect:):) Joe and I were beyond relieved and so happy. We are just so happy are baby Girl is doing well. Its been a long road and tomorrow I am 23 weeks and I am just so grateful everything is going the way it is.

Now the fun begins, my mother is planning a shower for first week in April. I am starting to look on pintrest for cool ideas and its getting so exciting! Joe and I started registering last weekend and we are having so much preparing for our little girl.

One thing we are having problems with is her name! I love Scarlett my husband calls her Bella everyday already, we both like Annabelle but I am not crazy about the name Ana. So we are still open to new names, his newest suggestion is Brielle. So who knows? But naming a little girl is hard lol